Life of an Anxious Chick

  So anyone that's still in the dating pool pretty much after the age of 25 knows that dating just sucks.  The busier we get with life and careers and adulting, many of us are basically forced to turn to the dark world (mostly kidding) of online dating.  Don't get me wrong, online dating has its perks.  For one, you're not being set up blindly by your well meaning but often clueless friends.  (I've been on some rough blind dates to say the least.) It gives you a chance to weed out people that wouldn't be a good match with the way people have to fill out profiles.  And the anonymity makes it easy to write off and block the weirdos quickly if need be. Of course, there are drawbacks.  Oh my God, are there drawbacks.  They say online dating brings out the crazies, and that is definitely true.  Sometimes people on these websites are so desperate to find a date or whatnont, they are less than forthcoming with who they really are.  ...

Whenever someone new comes into my life albeit a friend or significant other, I always have in the back of my head, ok when do I tell them, or should I at all?  I also wondered if I should mention it in this blog at all or not.  What I'm talking about is an ugly bitch called Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD for short.  I was diagnosed with this disorder about 10 years ago.  What does this mean and what does it not mean?  In short, I feel everything, all emotions for the most part intensely.  Honestly, I cannot find the words to describe the level of that intensity, but it is exhausting a lot of the time. It's not always clear what causes BPD but in my case it was a mix of trauma, abuse and abandonment during my teenage years.  The National Institute of Mental Health described BPD as "a mental illness marked by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image, and behavior."  What does that mean? For me, it's almost constant inner turm...