Life of an Anxious Chick

Six years ago this month I should have welcomed my first born into the world. I should have been making a birth plan and finalizing a nursery. I should have had my world changed forever. Well, at least the last part did happen, but not in the way I expected. Rewind about 8 months or so prior to that,  May 2012. On an ordinary spring day I took the advice of my now ex-husband and took a pregnancy test. I was shocked to see the "pregnant" result not even two minutes after taking it. To this day I still almost question whether or not it was immaculate conception. I was stuck in a dead, loveless, toxic marriage. Deep down, we despised each other. The deer in headlights look on my ex-husband's face when I handed him the positive test was one of the last reactions I wanted to see. I think a little part of me died when I saw the brief look of what I can only imagine was disgust on his face. Later I found out he would consider getting a paternity test. But I suppose that...

It has been entirely too long since I have posted something. There's been a huge amount of change in my life. But lately, I've been really looking at the bigger picture, or at least trying to. Back around Thanksgiving time it felt like my world got flipped upside down when my boss just blurted out one day "We're moving to St Louis." I think I cried for two, maybe three days. I had no idea what I was going to do, this had been the best paying job I'd had in years. But long story short, I got a great reference from my former boss, Tom, and accepted a new job at a home health company. Starting this new job, I thought maybe I'd get a break from the crazy stress I'd endured the last year and a half, but wrong doesn't even seem to cover it. I thought I would maybe get some sweet old grannies that just needed some help here and there; you know, some fluff shifts. Not even close. I got handed a whole new set of stress. Don't get me wrong, I love m...