Here's looking at 32

Well, some things have changed since my last post.  I turned another year older, not sure if I'm a year wiser, but I have definitely grown quite a bit in the last 12 months.  I'm not where I want to be completely, but I'm damn glad I'm not where I was a year ago.  I'm trying hard not to compare my life to others, but still, overall, I wish things were different turning 32.  I wish I had children.  I wish I was married.  And I wish I wasn't in so much debt and in a better living situation.  

However, some older and wiser people in my life have pointed out that I (most of us probably) need to be more grateful for what I do have in my life.  I'm not married but I am currently in a loving and healthy relationship (more about him later 😉).  I don't have children and I don't really have anything to compare that to other than I feel closer than ever to my family and friends.  I'm also really happy with the 180 degree turn-around Tuck has made in this last year; he is really thriving.  And tonight as I sit here writing this I'm even more grateful for what I have in my life and how much I have grown.  I actually just found out from a friend that an old coworker passed away today.  It wasn't tragic and it wasn't unexpected; Joyce was in her 90's.  But as I reflect back on her life I am reminded of what a truly happy person she was.  She had such a beautiful and bright spirit.  She lived a full and rich life.  And really, that's all I want.  Joyce died this afternoon surrounded by her family and a few friends, the people she loved the most.  If only we could all be that lucky. Death always makes me think about how ridiculous I can get over things that are so trivial, things that don't really matter.  Maybe that's just human nature.  But maybe, I could take a lesson from Joyce and spend the next 12 months focused on the bigger picture and not sweating the small stuff so much.  I wish I had visited her more since I left that company.  I wish I could have gotten to know her better and learned how she became such a vivacious and lively person.  I will definitely miss her.

Sometimes I get so caught up in what I don't have, what I feel like I'm missing out on and I get really down.  I'm going to make a conscious effort to start counting my blessings more.  Life is just way too short to spend it upset, comparing, and feeling shorted.  So I think that is what I'm going to do, just start counting my blessings more and being thankful for what I do have right now.  

That's it for now.  Thanks for reading. 

Love lots,
E